I’ve forgotten all the things that used to worry me each day
The meals to cook, the clothes to wear, the time I had to play.

I’ve forgotten my anxiety about who must be where and when
The constant travel in the car to get from now to then.

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to sit in traffic or be in a crowd
To run late for school pick up, when lateness was disallowed.

I’ve forgotten how my backyard looked before I started looking
When day and night turned into one; mowing grass required a booking.

I’ve forgotten how that leg wax felt and hours at a salon
For cutting, plumping, freezing, tweezing, amplifying self-obsession.

I’ve forgotten rosters, home and work, invoices, tax, and meeting
My computer desk, my aching back, the emails and proceedings.

I’ve forgotten how to wake up early when 5 alarms were needed
The showers because I had to, the breakfasts being repeated.

I’ve forgotten sounds of silence when the family were all busy
The many screens and headphones on, the hum that made us dizzy.

I’ve forgotten crowded supermarkets, shopping centres and the Malls
Driving around car parks, parking meters, fines, and laws.

I’ve forgotten how to fill my mind with all of life’s agendas
The constant thoughts and overload, the unrealistic pretenders.

But…

Somewhere amongst the non-routine the calm became apparent
My life began to make more sense, I had time to be transparent.

I’ve remembered laughing children who aren’t crying out for attention
I’ve remembered to be still and present without it having to be mentioned.

I’ve remembered many things about what I can do
I’ve remembered names and baking and games, the time it takes to poo.

I’ve remembered my humanity, my compassion, praise, and reason
I’ve remembered to notice weather patterns and not reply on just the seasons.

I’ve remembered all that’s good in the world and stopped watching the news
I’ve remembered to hear my own voice and rely on my own views.

I’ve remembered ‘who I am’, what I stand for in my heart
Not what ‘I do’ or what ‘I think’ that may set me apart.

I’ve remembered to say ‘I Love You’ to the ones that are so dear
And that ‘I’ can use my love for good to wipe away their fear.

I know I’m now a better person for going through this pause
My life outside, the constant battles with people and their flaws.

You see I may have forgotten many patterns of behaviours from my past
But I’ve remembered new ones now and I will try to make then last.

The future is never certain on any given day
But hope and self-awakening will surely find a way.

by Tracy Bradley